There are two things in life we can be certain of.
Life, and death.
Life is a rich tapestry of interwoven threads. There are twists and knots, tangles and colour changes, and in the end the tapestry tells a tale that only the weaver can truly understand.
As I sit by the bedside I am privileged to see some of the threads of the life that is coming closer to the end. I follow the trail of one thread into the depths of the tapestry, navigate the tangles and slowly try to separate them to transform the tangles to orderliness. Sometimes, hidden in the folds, are some absolute gems. Sometimes there are things that are best left undiscovered.
People often ask me how I can do this job. Some days I wonder too. I have lost count of how many last breaths I have witnessed and how many last heartbeats I have heard. Some tapestries pull harder at the heartstrings than others. Some leave me wondering whether my own tapestry is unravelling.
So here I am – an unravelled nurse, doing my best to lay my heart bare and give you a glimpse of some of the beautiful threads that are woven into this vast tapestry of life and death.
In the end, all of the tapestries connect as our lives intersect. Eventually the thread will run out, and there will be nothing left to add.